dynagirl

Fox News Anchor, or Porn Star? Looks like I don’t see enough of either. Yay, me!

Is it Christmas?

im in ur source code, laffing at ur HTML

the shark was jumped

Even though it’s been a dream toy since I was ten years old, I was having a hard time justifying this most excellent sonic screwdriver — until I realized that it was a sonic screwdriver that could also detect cat pee. Spiffy! All those years, who knew the Doctor had a cat?

If only it sings when you squeeze it… regardless; mine mine mine! They have ninja and viking kittens, too.
via DaddyTypes

My new happy place? Is imagining a whole football team of Brett Favre clones, playing against another football team made of Brett Favre clones.

Maybe she needs a MySpace page.

When I launch my mommy-bar empire, the first three locations will be named Yoga, The Garden Center, and Day Care.

13 legends of color

Supposedly, the longest non-technical word in the English language is, at twenty-nine letters, “Floccinaucinihilipilification;” honestly, though, I have yet to hear it in a non-technical conversation.

A Chinese court has jailed two officials after they let a blind contractor build a bridge which collapsed during construction and injured 12 people, the official Xinhua news agency said Monday…. “After the blind contractor changed the blueprint, he carried out the work only using a roughly drawn draft of the plan, which caused the bridge to collapse,” the report said. Xinhua did not explain how the contractor was able to run the project considering his inability to see.

Via Tha Bryzzzah

Holy crap, that’s COOL. We humans have figured out some neat stuff. I could watch assembly line porn for hours.

Bill Clinton wrote this Sunday’s New York Times crossword.

* h-u-s-b-a-n-d would also answer the clue, but not in context of this puzzle ;)

Parisians, around the turn of the twentieth century, enjoyed the talents of Le Pétomane, a professional farter. His stage name translates as “the fart maniac.” It’s more evidence that the French are the funniest people in Europe.

via… I suppose there’s better places to beef about this, but I don’t feel like raising that big of a stink. (Ha!!) It’s really stupid that my responses to the AskMe question, “are farts universally funny?” were deleted. The one moderator I’ve met in person seemed pretty humorless, so there you go. Maybe my second comment was misinterpreted as something other than a reference to the horrible beer farts that Molson lager generate. Who knows.

Hey, if I had a wine blog, but just wrote complaints about bad wine experiences, it would be a oenomatopoeia.

Is there a word for words that look like their meaning, as opposed to sounding like their meaning? Because “fizzy” should totally be spelled “fizzi,” and then it would be an excellent double trick.

If you ever see me giggling in the corner all by myself, it’s because this shit in my head? never stops. It’s like a shit circus. Hey! I wonder if ShitCircus.com is available…

How can I learn to recognise more languages?

“ASSHOLE, YOU COULDN’T RAPE A WAFFLE!”

This one, I think gets bumped up to “of the Year” status.

Smuggled Bushmeat Poses U.S. Health Threat

A decaying and quite scary Supervillain Hideout.

How to make a nativity scene. What with the plastic brick educational toys, it’d be super easy –and more appropriate– to swap out a monolith in the manger.

And maybe make the sheep into robots, but still sheepy. Robosheep. Yes!

Eyeglasses Stores are for Suckers: Amen. When I got new glasses this year, it was because my five-year-old frames were getting ugly and boring, not because I couldn’t see. When I got the glasses with the new prescription, everything was so fun-house distorted that I couldn’t wear them even after the “getting used to them” period. Since LensCrafters has a 90-day guarantee, I took them back, someone else wrote me a different scrip, and I waited another two weeks for them to be ready. The new new ones? Still fucked up. Six weeks, four visits, and five hundred dollars later, I had new frames with my five-year-old prescription in them and I can see just fine. They even had the gall to say that when you “get older” you have a lower tolerance for adjusting to new glasses! Now that I’ve got the actual scrip numbers (most places I’ve been to in the past wouldn’t give it to me so that I’d have to return to them for new glasses – even though that’s against the law), when I next need contacts or glasses, I’m hitting the internet.

When the mere presence of the bell is not enough.

Looking through all of these, I had a nasty flashback to usability testing. It’s easy to imagine the four-hour, five+ people meeting that would ensue–mostly entirely a discussion of why the labels should read “push button” instead of “ring bell,” since really, there is no bell present and the user is not directly ringing anything. At the two-hour mark, the group would seem to be in agreement that the labels should read “push button to ring bell” because “push button” would be too ambiguous to the user as to the results of such pushing, and would therefore cause the user discomfort, possibly resulting in the user never pushing the button because they were afraid of what might happen. After four hours, everyone would be in agreement–until, inevitably, someone points out that the bell is neither now nor ever visible to the user, so that “push button to ring bell” would be equally distressing to the user because they would never know exactly what bell they were ringing if they pushed the button. At that point, the web designer rips the bubbler off of the wall, heaves it through the window, and runs. [Scene.]

I usually don’t bother with goofy internet “what blah-blah are you?” quizzes, but couldn’t resist this one. I suppose blogging that increases my dork quotient.

Modern, Cool Nerd
82 % Nerd, 65% Geek, 39% Dork
How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 99% on nerdiness
You scored higher than 99% on geekosity
You scored higher than 99% on dork points

Mises Economics Blog: A-Team Stands for Anarcho-Capitalism

“The A-team” supports the idea of natural law, rejects the nominalist tradition, rejects relativism both on ethical and epistemological grounds, supports entrepreneurship and free market, praises division of labor and monetary economy, builds its morality on the nonaggression axiom, rejects the necessity for economic regulation, undermines the government itself by demonstration of its failures, and shows how society is shaped by human action.

The “A” in the praised TV series probably stands for anarcho-capitalist.

Whatever: Clearly You People Thought I Was Kidding

Next I went to the belt, where I emptied my pockets, emptied my bag, took off my watch, and took off my shoes. The only thing they didn’t ask me to empty was my intestines, but that’s next year. Just before I went through the gate, the portly young woman on the other side, who I thought might find the stunt funny, was replaced by a surly old guy who looked like an ex-Marine. “Oh no,” I said to the vibrator.

You’ll know by the trail of ice cream trucks (and the ensuing blessed silence) I leave in my wake. Damn their infernal racket!

I Killed A Bear.